The science of sleep

“Hi Paddy: over here!” my friend Balwant Sinha cried from across the room. “I’ve been dying to talk to you.”

I was touched by his greeting. I didn’t realize how much my company meant to him. There was obviously something heavy on his mind that the poor fellow needed my opinion on, some weighty problem that only I could solve.

“Really sorry,” I said, sitting down next to him. I looked deep into his eyes with empathy. “What’s troubling you?”

“How well did you sleep last night?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Forget that. What are you dying to talk to me about?”

“That’s it: your sleep, man! How well did you sleep last night?”

“Ok, I guess,” I said, “but…”

“Don’t guess!” Sinha sounded cross. “Do you know that extensive studies have highlighted that not getting proper sleep is a key issue today?”

“Yes, I’ve read something like that. But getting to something more important, why…”

“Nothing is more important,” said Sinha. “So think: did you sleep well last night?”

I threw my mind back (not literally, of course) and said, “Yes, I slept well.”

Our bureaucracy is alive and well: part 3

A week after being thwarted at the passport office my friend re-submitted his application with a fresh schedule F stating unequivocally that he had been staying at his present address, as opposed to his permanent address or his previous address, for the past six months. Three days later he received his new passport. But he also received a text message requesting his presence at the neighbourhood police station for post-passport-issue verification; so he went there and handed his passport to the sub-inspector.

“Show me proof of citizenship,” the police officer said.

“It’s in your hand,” my friend replied.

“No, I need your birth certificate or school leaving certificate, preferably CBSE.”

My friend was surprised that the police thought so poorly about the passport’s ability to prove one’s citizenship but since he had carried his thick ‘passport-preparation file’, he did not press the point.

“Take both,” he said.

Instead of showering him with kudos for providing two documents where only one was required, the policeman said, “Also need proof of residence.”

“Again?!” My friend was shocked but also well prepared, ‘proof of residence’ being the biggest obstacle he had had to overcome on the path to passport. “Here’s my employer’s letter showing my address. Using it I transferred my private sector bank account to Mumbai: here’s that passbook stating my address. With this I acquired a public sector bank account: here’s that passbook. Submitting this I got the passport, already with you. That’s four proofs of residence and please note – all carry the same address, exactly.”