When an old tennis friend of mine
had to renew his soon-to-expire passport, I warned him that the process might
be bureaucratic and that he should exhibit patience, tenacity and an unwavering
will to win if he hoped for success. He said that I was mistaken, that doing it
today was as easy as sitting on a cushioned bench. All he had to do was fill an
application form online, submit it online, pay `2,000
online, apply for an appointment online, land up on the scheduled date with the
required papers – just his old passport and a proof of residence – in his hand.
“Three days later I’ll have a new
passport in the same hand,” he said, sounding smug.
I was curious to know what
happened; so I called him a day after his appointment.
“I missed it,” he said morosely.
“The proof of residence proved tricky. I don’t have an electricity, telephone
or water bill since I moved to Mumbai recently and am staying in my company
flat. The passport office accepts a public sector bank passbook showing my
address; so I went to one to open an account. But they asked me for proof of
residence. I explained to the manager that I was opening an account in his bank
because I did not have the proof and for no other reason. Instead of showing
sympathy, the man got annoyed; but then relented to say he’d accept a private bank
passbook as proof. Unfortunately private banks require proof of residence too!
Luckily my private bank accepts a letter from employer if you’re ‘changing
address’. So I transferred the account from my previous city to Mumbai submitting
my employer’s letter as proof of residence, then opened an account with the
public sector bank submitting the private sector bank passbook as proof of
residence, so that I can apply for the passport submitting the public sector
bank passbook as proof of residence. It’s like progressing through levels of the
computer game Warcraft, but not as much fun. I’ve asked for a second
appointment in three days, by when the public sector bank will complete the
paperwork.”
When he reached the counter for
this appointment, the clerk told him that annexures F and I were missing. My shocked
friend said that this was because the website made no reference to them. In a
bored voice the clerk informed him that he had heard that story many times
before and had not found it gripping on any of the occasions.
